“Be grateful for the mind, who’s role is to molest the false version of yourself until it becomes unbearable and you are left with no choice but to give up and come home to the heart.” -Mooji
I used to be a very indecisive person and was stuck in my head most of the time when it came to making decisions. I was pondering about different options, outweighing all of them and the more I thought about each option, the less clarity I had. Little did I know back then how much one’s life quality can improve as a consequence of making heart-based choices. The irony is that making heart-based decisions does not only save time and energy, but it is also always in everyone’s best interest.
If you become quiet, relax for a few seconds, clear your mind and tune into your heart, you will connect to a wisdom that is beyond logical and analytical thinking. Resting in your heart relaxes your entire being, your energy expands, your magnetism increases and you become a beacon of light. When you are in your heart, you can hear your own inner voice. You will see much more clearly from this relaxed and empowered place and make natural decisions without outweighing compulsively thousand different options.
Your heart will always direct you into the right direction and show you the way.
You don’t need to know all the little steps in-between to reach your destination or goal. Ultimately, any big decision involves a leap of faith. Follow your heart’s and your gut’s guidance and impulses and rest assured that it will be your most reliable guide.
Many ancient traditions refer to the heart as the seat of the soul.
Conventional science has taught us that the central role of the heart is to pump blood to all the systems of our body. However new research shows that our heart is the strongest generator of both electrical and magnetic fields.
Compared to the electromagnetic field produced by the brain, the electrical component of the heart’s field is about 60 times greater in amplitude and permeates every cell in the body. The magnetic component of the heart is approximately 5000 times stronger than the brain’s magnetic field.
When You Fear Making a “Wrong” Decision.
“Fear is a natural reaction to moving closer to the truth.” ~Pema Chodron
The bigger our purpose, the louder the ego will scream that we are not ready yet. However, we evolve by releasing our fears! Tuning into our heart can help us to release fear and doubt, and we become more spontaneous when it comes to making decisions.
Instead of looking up to others or seeking advice constantly you can navigate your life from your heart… from your authentic self. Let your heart be your authority and live boldly from the authenticity of your true SELF. This can be scary at first, and we may encounter a lot of resistance or disapproval in the beginning. However, it will pay off in the long run. We betray only ourselves and give our power away when we don’t follow our internal guidance because we are too concerned what other’s may think.
Being fearless does not mean that you never feel fear, but it’s about how you deal with it.
The next time you feel fear, embrace it, examine it, and if it feels right in your heart and gut, move boldly toward it. Avoidance has never been a great strategy for success and happiness. If you are fearful of making the first step when you start a new project for example bear in mind that it is natural to feel a little bit insecure and unsure. But in the end, taking a leap of faith and being courageous will help you greatly to move forward in life.
Simply have your desired outcome in mind when you take courageous action and be aware that you deposit more experience and knowledge into your “intuition account” by moving forward. Developing your intuitive sense and trusting yourself is similar to learning any new skill – the more you practice, the better you become.
“Whether success or failure, you need to move forward. The momentum is what is critical.”
-Frederique Dame
Being afraid to take action and giving your power away to fear will not only affect your self-esteem but also increase any doubts and insecurity. You deprive yourself of the fullness, richness, and joy of life when you postpone important decisions which require immediate action. The same applies when you stay in a situation that you have outgrown for to too long by clinging to a false sense of safety. Most fear is an illusion and only a very little percentage is a legitimate protection of danger.
If you take action despite the fear, you will break the anxiety cycle and eventually transcend fear. At the same time, you will acquire new skills, open new doors, and free yourself from self-imposed limitations.
“Make more decisions in every day. Because a decision is a summoning of life. That’s why a little chaos is good for you, because often you don’t make a decision until you get yourself in a jam. And then, in the middle of the jam, you make a decision, but that decision summons Life Force. Have you ever been a place where you couldn’t quite make up your mind and you just felt sort of limp? “Oh, I don’t know. I don’t know. I don’t know.” And then you decided, and you felt alive again. We want you to know that you’ll never get it done. So don’t approach this from, “I gotta get on this” because you’re not ever going to get it done, anyway. And the other thing we want you to know is, you cannot get it wrong. So, make a decision. Let it flow.”
–Abraham
Being very concerned about making the wrong choice is usually an indicator that you are too attached to the outcome. The truth is – you can’t make a wrong choice if you choose from a place of calm, love and trust. There is something valuable to be learned on every path we follow. No matter if you define a decision as “good” or “bad,” it will always lead you to experiences and lessons you need at this particular moment in your life. In fact, when we go through challenging times, we often learn valuable life lessons which serve us well for the future. We all encounter obstacles in our lives or face challenges that throw us off balance, and we often understand the value of going through difficult times only in retrospect. Those dark times serve us as a wake-up call and are a catalyst for change, transformation, and creativity.
Without those challenges, we might not have left our unfulfilling job, moved to another country, reached out for support, acquired new skills within a short period of time or have taken outrageous and courageous action that freed us from many self-imposed limitations. We would have kept valuing the opinion of others above our own inner knowing and would have kept playing small instead of following our heart’s guidance boldly.
On a deeper level, fear of failure often represents fear of death (death of the ego and identity). We can be liberated from this fear when we dare to fail or to be rejected and realize that we are still loved and accepted by all of the creation.
Know that you are always infinitely guided and supported
The way you feel when you make a decision and how aligned you are with your choices determines the vibration you are emanating and the outcome of your decision. Making fear-based decisions shows a lack of faith that the universe is benign and will always support you and can lead to a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Fearless attitude pays off. The more aligned, clear, courageous, faithful and grounded you are in your true SELF while making decisions, the better your future experiences will be. Clarity is the natural result when you commit yourself to one specific direction without rigidity. Be certain about your destination, goal or desired outcome like a captain of a ship that sets off on a journey but at the same time remain flexible and keep an eye on the weather conditions and adjust your actions accordingly.
Something magical seems to happen if we make a full-hearted, bold and fully aligned decision. When we fully embody the intention of our decision, we become radiant, powerful and magnetic. By embodying the essence of the desired outcome or goal instead of trying to make things work by using our will power or mental energy, we remain open and unattached and allow higher guidance to come through.
The energy of our actions will be completely different when we acknowledge that everything is within us. Any attempt to chase something indicates that we operate from a place of lack and mistrust and that we have forgotten who we truly are.
We often believe that inner discontent can be cured by something external: a high paying job, luxury vacation, a partner who is more loving or understanding and don’t realize that external circumstances are only smoke and mirrors and they can’t replace our own inner source. It is a state of being that reflects all manifestations. No amount of external achievement or success will compensate for a lack of self-love, self-respect, self-acceptance, confidence and a lack of self-esteem.
Chasing dreams from a place of lack or a feeling of unworthiness or making decisions without self-love and self-respect is like building your house on the sand. It’s a waste of your energy, time and resources and won’t bring long-lasting happiness.
What you see in the external world are reflections of your internal state. If you want to align with something you have to become it first. If you embody your desire in your heart, you will automatically become very humble and open, and you won’t try to force a given situation to turn out a certain way because you know that everything that is truly yours will come to you.
Listen to your body!
Your body is a very powerful, accurate, intuitive guide. Most people in Western society are living in their head. They are not aware that there is a connection between our brain and our gut. Our brain and our gut are connected, and it is estimated that there are between 400 and 600 million neurons in our gut. If you pay attention, your gut and your heart can give you very clear signals at any given moment.
Before making a decision, relax for a few seconds, let go of all thoughts and tune into your body! You can prevent difficulties before they arise by listening to your body’s signals. Your body has signals like goose bumps, butterflies in your stomach or chills for inspiration or a churning stomach when something is off.
If you feel that your whole being is expanding, that means a YES.
If you feel contracted or tension in your gut it means NO.
Be gentle with yourself if you still find yourself in a situation where you are stuck or confused.
Sometimes the possible consequences of a huge decision are so complicated and significant that our emotions get stirred up, and our vision gets clouded. As a consequence, we can’t hear the voice of our heart clearly. I professional life coach, mentor or counsellor can can serve as a mirror and reflect back to you aspects of yourself which you can’t see yourself. It can be such a gift to unstuck yourself and reach out for help and support instead of taking the road of more resistance.
One of my most booked 1:1 packages is the VIP Claity Package. It is especially perfect for those who are in transition but this is not a requirement. My clients ultimately don’t need me but will often get where they want much faster as it is almost impossible not almost impossible not to receive tremendous value from the 1:1 sessions if you show up fully with an open heart and mind.
In the video below, I share with you a simple technique that works well if you have two or three options, and all of them seem to be equal.
Set the intention before using this technique that each decision you will make will be a good one, not only for yourself but also for everyone else involved! No matter which permission slip you use, find a sense of natural calm, ease, and joy before leaping into action or making a decision.
Love, Erika
PS. You can also watch the video in German.
A great essential oil that can support you with the decision-making process is Rosemary.
Healing, Coaching and Counselling over the Internet!
I offer a beautiful blend of Holistic Healing, Intuitive Counselling, and Empowerment Coaching and help conscious women & men to cultivate self-love, heal emotional and psychological suffering, develop healthy self-care habits, step into their power, reach their goals and most of all connect with their life purpose.
The types of issues I work with can vary from clearing emotional pain, clearing creative blocks, integrating conflicting sub-selves, archetype work, breaking unwanted patterns, clearing oversensitivity issues, clearing limiting beliefs, spiritual and emotional healing and most of all helping people find their soul’s purpose and clearing any blocks that prevent them from connecting fully with their soul purpose.
It is my intention to inspire, empower you and help you to find more clarity in life and reconnect with your true self. I help people to become more aware of their gifts and also their beliefs and values they are operating under. As you start to remember who you truly are, you naturally start to re-align with your true self and your life purpose. Your life can then start to flow in a far more creative and joyful way with new meaning and direction.
Through the unique combination of Holistic Healing, professional Holistic Counselling skills, and intuitive gifts, I provide compassionate and deeply accepting space to support you on your journey.
Together, we generate insight and transformation. My work is a co-creative, collaborative partnership with you to create the deepest insight, empowerment, clarity, wellbeing, healing and possibility, and enable you to share this with others.
I have trained in a number of different healing techniques including energy psychology, relationship healing and a diverse array of therapeutic interventions but I don’t follow any particular tradition or concept as I work intuitively from the heart.
What is a spiritual counsellor/holistic healing practitioner? A spiritual counsellor or holistic healing practitioner has trained in a number of healing techniques. Their training at Holistic Healing College has included, counselling, energy psychology, relationship healing, hypnotherapy, spiritual life coaching, soul plan and a diverse array of therapeutic interventions. A spiritual counsellor or holistic healing practitioner has recognized the importance of offering more than energetic healing or conventional counselling. The client also receives unconditional listening, sound advice, new resources, empowering beliefs and options for leading a more fulfilling and real quality life. These integrated sessions address the client on all levels: physical, emotional, mental and spiritual. Energetic healing creates space while a practical approach grounds the benefits in the here and now.
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